Wisdom Of Life

We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved

These are the words of wisdom I wish I knew when I was younger. What’s the difference between intelligence and wisdom? Personally, I associate intelligence not only with the utilization of knowledge to find solutions to tricky problems, but also with the capacity for abstract thought or the comprehension of complex issues. Wisdom on the other hand appears to be entirely different than everything intelligence stands for. It is much more intuitive, rather than based on pure logic as intelligence mostly is.

I’m a fairly young person, so why do I think I have any important wisdom or wise lessons about life to share at all? “Is she that self-opinionated?” one might think. During my life I had the very honorable experience of getting in touch with a huge variety of people, from all different kinds of backgrounds. I’ve talked to the elderly and the young, had discussions with people that were about to die as well as those who lost a beloved one. But many – if not most – of the wisdom and lessons I would like to share with you came from my personal experience, for instance from the time when my life was hanging by a thread – the time I had hit rock bottom.

I am, however, not perfect and all-knowing, which is why I would like to invite you to share your wisdom in the comment section below. Everyone has important wisdom for life to share, don’t be shy and tell us about your wise lessons! I will integrate your statement into this article/quotes.

Before we get to the interesting part of this, I think it might be helpful to define what wisdom really is.

According Wikipedia describes Wisdom as "a deep understanding resulting in the ability to apply perceptions, judgments and actions in keeping with this understanding. It often requires control of one’s emotional reactions so that universal principles, reason and knowledge prevail to determine one’s actions. Wisdom is also the comprehension of what is true or right coupled with optimum judgment as to action."

Wisdom is difficult to teach. The intelligent can learn, comprehend, understand and meet rational decisions based on logic. A wise person knows out of experience. It is the inner knowing what to do in a given situation. In some cases, the decision that is met appears to be irrational, but more often than not it turns out to be the right thing to do. The wise person knows from within, supported by the insights gained from a reflective disposition.

And the essential wisdom to be prepared for life. Doesn’t it all revolve around the question: What is important to you in life? Maybe you have already a definite answer to the question – in which case I would like to congratulate you. But if not, I hope the important virtues of wisdom and the many lessons in life that I’m sharing with you will inspire you when deciding what is important to you. I’m also including quotes of wisdom or wisdom sayings to each of the following essential lessons of life:

#1 There’s a lesson to be learned in everything you experience

Everything you undergo teaches you a lesson. The question is: Do you have the courage to discover what lesson was taught? Are you brave enough to make use of the wisdom you gained? Life can be really tough, especially in times of coping with setbacks and failures. But I know from experience: everything that happens teaches a lesson – whether you like or not. Often, it took me months to let go of the (ego-based) grief, self-pity and anger about what had happened. But once that work was done it gave way to a reflective approach of discovering the valuable insights and wisdom that were taught.

Remember that this process takes a lot of time. Wise lessons might not immediately catch your attention, but they will come as very profound realizations once you are ready to comprehend them. With the insight that time provides, you will be able to accept the situation and be courageous enough to let go of anger and bitterness. Only then, with an impartial point of view, profound but wise lessons can be drawn from the things that happened to you, hence increasing your knowledge about the important wisdom about life.

#2 Happiness comes from within

No one is in charge of your happiness but you. No one has the responsibility to make you happy. It is a very common misconception to believe things that lie outside of ourselves can make us happy. If you ask an unhappy person what it would take to make them happier, they will most likely enumerate the many (material) things that lie beyond their grasp. What they do not realize is the profound wisdom that true happiness comes from within. People think abundance can make them happy. We associate the possession of luxurious cars, big mansions and the many other tangibles this materialistic world has to offer with happiness.

But the reality is: If you aren’t able to appreciate what you already have, you will never be able to be truly and profoundly happy for a longer period of time, even if all your material wishes came true. It is the wisdom that comes from personal experience that has shown many people that one will never be fully satisfied by the accumulation of fancy tangibles.

If you make your happiness dependent on external influences, you set up a barrier that prevents you from discovering the happiness that lies within you. In such a case, you would be trying to fill an emptiness within you that cannot be filled with things from the outside.

#3 Forgiveness will set you free, but revenge not.

Forgiveness is the characteristic of the strong. It really takes a lot of strength to forgive and to let go of the hurt. The alternative to forgiving is vengeance, but it will not help you to reduce the pain. Revenge –to me – is simply not the right way to let go of the emotional baggage I carry around when someone hurt me. In the end, the realization prevails that there’s no difference between you and the person that hurt you, if you opt for revenge. The process of forgiving is essential to be able to let go of the hurt. Forgiveness can set you free. It can help you in releasing the built-up resentment and the emotional baggage you carry around. Life is too short to waste your time with hatred. 

#4 Regret is more painful than failure.

Throughout our lives we are mostly worried about things that won’t happen anyway. We are afraid of failure, when in reality the regret about not having tried can be by far more painful than failure in itself. The question you have to ask yourself is whether you prefer to laugh about all the awkward failures you’ve experienced or to regret all the missed opportunities you rejected out of fear of failure. To me, failure is an inevitable aspect in my life. A “challenge” if you so want that I will have to face every once in a while. With it comes the realization and wisdom that the only fool-proof way to avoid any kind of failure is to not try at all. The attempt to avoid failure at any cost – by not trying – is an irreversible mistake, which I regard as the worst failure of all.

#5 Other people’s mistakes are lessons for you, too..

"A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own."

When I was a child I sometimes had the feeling that my parents “punished” me for mistakes others committed. When someone did something very stupid, you can bet that I got a lecture about it as well. Nowadays, I know better of course. They taught me to learn from other people’s mistakes, even though I did not realize that for a very long time. I believe that even though we learn a lot more from our own mistakes, learning from other people’s mistakes helps us to stay out of a lot of trouble. There’s an old saying, “Learn from other people’s mistakes, because you don’t have time to make them all yourself” – and it perfectly fits here.

#6 Bending over backwards will break your spine

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.

What other people think of you should be none of your business. Everyone is entitled to his own opinion and you cannot change what others think of you anyways. Take notice of criticism and be thankful for feedback, but think about how much emphasis you want to put onto what other people think of you. The moment you begin to bend over backwards for others, by trying to please everyone, you will lose much of your integrity; it will figuratively break your spine. You can put a mask on in order to influence what other people think about you, but sooner or later though, they will get a glimpse of what lies behind. Stay true to yourself and there is nothing for you to regret. If you spend all your time seeking validation, gaining respect and approval from others, then you’ll eventually forget who you really are.

Another wise lesson I had to learn the hard way is that every person is on a different journey – in terms of their personal and spiritual development but also in regards to the level of knowledge and wisdom they have acquired so far. With this wisdom comes the realization that you will not be able to force them to go down a specific path. Convincing them of doing so, or trying to change someone’s opinion who has already made up his mind is a waste of your energy. Eventually, they will discover this path/knowledge for themselves.